32 Truly Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes


There just aren’t enough genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes out there, in my opinion. That old faithful: “This long distance relationship isn’t going to work: Fridge, you’re moving to my bedroom,” isn’t really a long distance relationship quote. It also isn’t really funny after the first couple of times you see it on on the quote boards.

Goodness knows all of us in long distance relationships can use a bit more funny in life, so I made it my mission this month to pull together a bunch of genuinely funny long distance relationship quotes.

Enjoy. Then send the link to someone else in a long distance relationship who could use a bit of funny in their day. Oh, and if I’ve left out your personal favorite, don’t forget to leave a comment and share it with us. The more the merrier.

Funny Long Distance Relationship Quotes

“Definition of a long distance relationship: Inconveniently the most effective way to find out if you really love each other.”

funny long distance relationship quotes

“Whoever coined the term “absence makes a heart grow fonder,” was an idiot. Absence makes a bitch grow crazy.”


“You are formally invited to delight me with a surprise visit during the long weekend. PS. If you don’t, I will drive to you and kick your butt.”

“If anyone asks me “what is hell?” I would answer “Distance between two people who love each other.”


“This message is to let you know that your girlfriend is having a hard time coping up with your absence. Maybe a gift will cheer her up.”

That, “You hang up first,” No, YOU hang up first” crap is really only funny the first two or three hundred times.”


“I miss you like an idiot misses the point.”


“I wish I could copy and paste you into my bed.”

“I am in my bed. You are in your bed. One of us is in the wrong place.”

funny long distance relationship quotes

“Aw, your boyfriend’s at work and you miss him? That’s cute. Try being in a long distance relationship and get back to me.”


“I know they say that only the strongest of couples can stay apart but, really, strength is overrated when it’s stacked up against togetherness. So get back into my arms.”

“If you think missing me is hard, you should try missing you.”


“They say long distance relationships will teach you to communicate well… We should be mind-readers by now.”


“I miss you so much, that I can’t stop thinking about you no matter what I am doing. P.S., I wrote this message while I was on the toilet.”

“When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone.”


“I wonder why people still underestimate the authenticity of long distance relationships. I fell in love with his soul before I could even touch his skin. If that isn’t true love, then please tell me what is.”


“I love you. You also annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating minute with you.”

“The rules of long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools: Walk, don’t run. And no diving in headfirst, even if the water looks deep enough.”

The rules for long distance relationships should be the same as those posted at public pools.

“They say, true love doesn’t mean being inseparable. It means being separated and nothing changes. That’s bullshit. Things are going to change while we’re separated. WE are going to change while we are separated. But that just means I’ll have the grand adventure of learning to love new things about you when we’re together again. And I can’t wait!!”


“Being in a long distance relationship is like being in school all over again: Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we get to spend together and how to define patience. It reminds us that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished… And just like when I was in school, I’d rather skip class and kiss you in the stairwell.”


“Him: “I miss you so much… When we finally get to be together, I’m never going to let you out of my sight again.” Her: “Aw, honey. I want to say that’s sweet.. but it’s actually sort of creepy.”


“Want to learn how someone really handles frustration? Put them in a long distance relationship and give them a slow internet connection.”


“I just want you to be happy, that’s all I want. Well, that and here. And naked.”

“I wanted to send you something sexy, but the mailman told me to get out of the mailbox.”


“Long distance relationships: Great for birth control. Not so great for simultaneous orgasms.”


“Long distance relationships are awesome because there’s no sex, so you can focus all your energy on long, accusatory phone calls.”


“If your conversations are becoming 80% heavy breathing and 20% talking, that’s not a long distance relationship. That’s a free phone sex hotline.”

LDR Phone Sex Hotline

“Don’t you type at me in that tone of voice!”


“Let’s just skip to the part where we get to spend the rest of our lives together.”


“I miss you a little too often, a little too much, and a little more every day.”


“How do I know this long distance relationship is worth it? You are my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye.”


Leave a comment and share other funny long distance relationship quotes you know!


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