It felt like magic that time when you first met them. You were very admired and confident. You just knew that this person is the correct person for you in your bones. Just like you finally crossed the paths you were looking for, with the soulmate. You made all they did swoon with. They made it so easy to look and you fell down on your face for them.
In your important others, everything you ever wanted was brilliant in your eyes. You thought “all right, that’s what I found you.” That first day, when you first went to the films, the first time that they came over, the first time that you both spent the night together, they made you feel that your life of love finally made sense. Everything looked good and felt that the event was better, like the fairy tale, that you should always be part of until the feeling of exhaustion and hope began to disappear into the thin air. You start wondering why and how you even began to feel that way.
What happens is that when such sensations of blind enthusiasm go away, they desperately leave one who tries to hold on to them no matter how hard it can be. So many of us have been guilty of confusing enthusiasm, obsession and literally innumerable other love stuff. Once everything goes away, we try to come up with things on which we can put all the blame.
Well, we could be guilty a lot of the hustle and bustle with someone. Robust hormones, relationship despair, peer pressure, faulty judgement and many other factors. Always, there is a wrathful dialogue: you don’t love someone as much as you thought that you did, but no one really speaks of the aftermath that this perception entails. It’s a process which requires a tonne of mind energy because we have a lot of time to think about why and what to do about it.
It’s bad enough to realise that you don’t love a person as much as you thought, and you probably don’t believe there’s anything worse than that. There is, except. What’s worse is when you don’t seem to know that for the wrong reasons you’re with somebody, or that you don’t really like him as much as you say you do. Due to the fact that stuff in the relationship continues to fall apart but you can’t tell why. To get there, you will need a little help. Here are a few signs that tell you how crazy you might have thought about him/her:
1. Their needs and desires make things more difficult for you
All have their own needs and wants your significant disadvantages and other disadvantages. They’re even upset. You don’t want to do what you need to meet your needs. You feel that they are asking too much for you. Well, you would go another mile to see them happy and satisfied if you loved them.
2. You’ve a list of “faults” of other
You decided on something in your head that is going to break the relationship. You have set boundaries and you won’t bother to make it work if it’s crossed. You wait for them to give you a reason for your departure. This is not what a lover in a relationship really does. You may accept that when you try to fuck in the dark for reasons to validate the dumping, because you have as much emotional attachments as you once thought.
3. You do not plan to make him meet your family
Months have passed and you are in a hurry to meet your parents. Worse: you avoid it completely. You don’t want to engage your family, because obviously you’re not serious. You are not ready, you don’t see that going with you anywhere, and above all, despite what you tell yourself, you don’t really love them all.
4. You do not have time for relationship
It appears that you can’t find time. You regularly apologise for why you are always busy with them. You think, in the end, that you have much more to do than to care for the relationship in which you are. The passion for them in your heart can’t push you to give them priority over other things in your life. You lie to yourself, because you don’t like it, about how much you love them.
5. Their problems are unacceptable but always yours is comprehensible.
You think it’s irriterating, stupid and plainly inexcusable if they cause any discomfort. While each problem with you is completely human and okay. Every problem that you have. If so, then your love is conditional on them. It depends on how easy it is for you to do things, if you want it to be difficult. If you really loved them, you would never do so.